Mother’s Day holds new meaning for Derek Wolfe

Miles

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Mar 18, 2019
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ENGLEWOOD, Colo. — As Mother’s Day approached, Derek Wolfe made his annual preparations for his wife, Abigail. He helped make sure his 12-year-old stepdaughter, Tatum, was involved and ready with a card. He set up the appointment for brunch, as he does every year. And Sunday, he made her the kind of simple breakfast she likes, with eggs, bacon and orange slices.


But there will be no mimosas for Abbie this year. She’s eight months pregnant, awaiting the birth of her second daughter, the first she and Derek have had together.


In the past few years, Derek Wolfe’s understanding of his world has changed, particularly because of Abigail. So, too, has his understanding of Mother’s Day.


“Mother’s Day was always kind of … it just sucked, that day,” Wolfe says, “because everybody was all excited about their mom and this and that.”


Wolfe’s childhood with his mother and stepfather was painful. He endured physical and emotion abuse from his stepfather, but when his mother and stepfather divorced, Wolfe still opted to stay with his stepfather because of his mother’s problems with alcohol.


“I don’t really have much to be excited about on that side,” Wolfe says, “so it has changed for me.”


Life with Abbie truly has changed him — for the better, of course.


“It’s crazy, because your life changes once you get married,” Wolfe says, “and once you realize, ‘Oh, wait, hold on — I’m having a baby!’ your motivation changes from all self-motivation to now it’s you’re providing for your family and trying to leave a legacy for your daughter and your future kids. It’s invaluable to have a woman like her beside me.”


He’s also been able to learn a lot about being a parent from his wife, lessons that will prove important as a first-time parent to a newborn.


“Patience — that’s like the main thing she tries to instill in me, because I’m a very impatient person,” Wolfe says. “She just tries to get me to practice patience at all times. … Sometimes you have to give them grace. Kids are going to be kids and you can’t be too critical. … You just have to try to guide them in the right direction. … But like I said, patience, just being patient with them. Not expecting anything but them to be happy.”


And he can see the success of her methods as a mother already in how Tatum has grown up.


“That’s hard to pick just one [characteristic that I most admire], because my stepdaughter is such a well-rounded young little girl,” Wolfe says. “I think just [Abbie's] ability to discipline without having to be aggressive with her discipline. … Any parent that their kids just don’t want to disappoint them, that’s really what you want as a parent. You don’t want them to fear you or be afraid you’re going to get smacked or something like that — because that’s the way I grew up, and to see the other side of it, [Tatum] just doesn’t want to disappoint her mom.”
 
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