Browns reopen building among rash of false positives

[Chomps]

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Sunday brought the first widespread rash of false positives that any American sport has seen during the pandemic. The Browns quickly determined that their results were indeed not legitimate positives cases, and they have reopened their building.

“We’ve concluded our re-testing of each initial presumptive positive result from yesterday among players, coaches and staff,” the Browns said in a statement issued on Sunday. “All have come back as negative, which is consistent with the irregularities across the league from multiple teams. As a result, we are reopening our building and will resume football activities this afternoon. As per protocol, the individuals with test results in question may not re-enter the building until they receive another negative test result tomorrow.”

Multiple teams have been affected by the false positives, which trace to a BioReferences facility in New Jersey. The NFL is investigating; in our view, the only potential explanations are incompetence or sabotage — or maybe the gag that periodically shows up in even the best of the best sitcoms.