Solomon Thomas, a ‘Dark Hole’ and a Shot at Redemption

[Sourdough Sam]

Thomas is more comfortable sharing his story than he was a year ago. He spent time on the walk discussing his relationship with Ella – how they were the best of friends and spoke on a daily basis. Thomas also lent an ear to strangers and listened to their stories.


Maybe the most powerful moments of the night were when Thomas broke away from the group to be with his own thoughts. Overcoming grief and tragedy is like learning to walk all over again. Progress comes in baby steps. Still, in those internal moments, Thomas couldn’t help but feel proud of how far he’d come.


“I feel like a totally different person – emotionally, mentally and physically,” Thomas said. “I had to reevaluate everything and start over again. I had to find that passion and find my values and what I care about. I had to really learn how to love myself and learn how to build myself in order to be happy again.”


But it was an arduous process to get there. Thomas’ rock bottom lasted several months. His enthusiasm for life had vanished. He dreaded each day and the only goal, proverbially speaking, was survival.


This stretch coincided with Thomas’ second season in the NFL. He didn’t record a sack until the 49ers ninth game of the season. Fans groaned as he failed to live up to expectations as the third-overall pick in 2017. But that didn’t matter to Thomas. Nothing did.


“If I did good on something, I wouldn’t care. If I did bad on something I wouldn’t care,” Thomas said. “I really didn’t want to be around anyone. I’d say whatever I could to get through the day. It was a dark hole, and it took me a long time to get out of it.”


What’s wild is that Thomas’ teammates were naïve to the magnitude of his suffering. With a smile here and a laugh there, Thomas accomplished his mission of disguising his own depression.


Thomas’ recent offseason transformation exemplified the stark contrast between where he was in 2018 and how much progress he’s made. He spent the winter in Dallas with a regimen that balanced training, treatment and time with friends. Thomas arrived to the 49ers offseason program noticeably “rocked up” (Dante Pettis’ words) with a markedly improved disposition.


“I thought he was always smiling last year, but now he’s really always smiling,” said Pettis, who took part in the walk with Thomas. “It’s the true him. When you talk to him, you can feel the more upbeat Solomon. It’s pretty cool to see.”